Patient Care

Posted on Wed Jun 2nd, 2021 @ 11:33am by Commander Peter Horn

2,075 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Episode 3 - Fear Is Fear Itself
Location: Deck 4 - Sickbay
Timeline: Mission Day 2 @ 1330 Hours

ON

The Security Officer awake with a jolt, sitting bolt upright in bed, fear washing through her at the creatures and the one that had lashed out at her... Where was it? A better question, where was she?
"Where am I?" her eyes started to focus. "How did I get to sickbay?"

Peter sat up as he sensed the other patient coming to awareness. "Sickbay," he answered slowly, shifting on his bed so he could see her without causing too much discomfort to himself. "You were gravely injured. Do you remember what happened?" It wasn't the most helpful counseling technique but he figured a direct question might help her put things together, and in turn he felt that just maybe, it could help him piece a few things together.

"We were under attack... those creatures... I was attacked" her eyes went wide at the memory that was surfacing impressing upon her the impact of what had happened. She looked at her hand, or where it should have been and found nothing but a stump. She laughed a little, a hollow sound of disbelief and confusion. "Its itching and I can still feel my fingers!"

Russ stepped forward. "That can happen Ensign. Its called phantom limb syndrome. Your brain is still trying to process movement of the missing limb in other nerve points in your body. It should subside in time. How did the alien attack?" the EMH asked.

"Clawed hand... It... It ripped my hand away!"

Tears had started to well at the corner of her eyes as the magnitude of what had happened finally settled in. Horn had obviously been injured himself... who else? Had she let anyone else down?

"How many got injured... What..." the tears started to slip silently down her cheeks as she continued trying to voice what she was feeling and wanted to know. "What will we, I mean you be able to do."

"We will be able to function," Peter answered slowly, "eventually. For now we should focus on recovery and healing." He could see the woman's distress, could even sense it. The sense of guilt was almost overwhelming. "This is not your fault," he told her gently, "if you were attacked then there was likely nothing you could have done to prevent it." He looked up at the hologram. "I have no recollection of what happened, I can only go on what I am told."

"We have some DNA off it," the EMH said. "The CMO encountered a creature down there too. As you describe claws, aggressive. It stopped short of attacking her and shes running tests to try understand anything there. Instead it leaned in and she said smelled her, smearing her with a substance. As I understand things none of the away teams had a good time of things on that planet. As the Counselor says. nothing is your fault."

The vulcanoid and Hologram had been talking but Jelani had not heard them, her focus being the stump where her hand had once been. How could she still feel it, feel her fingers moving, the sensation that she had to itch the back of her hand. It seemed odd staring at it, waiting for this holodeck program or the elaborate joke to be over, she even contemplated calling out for the computer to end program but stopped herself short when she realised that she could also feel a dull aching pain in the same spot... this was real.

Tears had started to fall freely down her cheeks, dappling the medical gown she was dressed in with darker damp spots, the salty liquid soaking through so she could feel them on her skin.
She cast her eyes from Horn to Russ in turn, watery eyes that conveyed more than a simple upset.
"I can't... I can't do this... Why...!"

Casting the EMH a brief look, knowing he shouldn't be getting up, Peter hoisted himself off his bed and shuffled over to the injured woman. "We are in the same boat," he told her softly, showing her his own stump but refusing to look at it himself. He reached up to wipe the tears from her face with his sleeve. "Shhh," he soothed as he would his own children. "I am certain the medical team will help us as best as they can."

One could take the man out of counseling, but apparently one could not take the counselor out of the man. Even though he was a patient himself, and in great distress too if he had to admit it, he still felt he had to try and console the woman. It was his job to, wasn't it?

She couldn't fold back the flood, sobbing openly, freely allowing the tear to fall and she grabbed at the nearest person and pulled him close to her, she had no idea that the nearest body wasn't a real one. Wrapping her arms around Russ and burying her face into his chest as the anguish, the hurt and the guilt at not having been able to help her colleagues, the guilt at how she was feeling when Commander Horn was in exactly the same boat... So many conflicting thoughts and feelings to express so she just let go.

“There there Ensign,” Russ said perfectly programmed. “Things will improve. And we are yet to discuss your options. In fact both of you.”

"We just need time to let this sink in, and allow ourselves to adjust to a new situation," Peter offered quietly, "there is no shame in feeling as you do, as long as you realize that in time you do need to move on." The truth was, he did feel as she did. What if he hadn't been drawn to this machine? What if he'd been stronger and able to resist the pull? He felt just as much guilt as she did, but he was probably better equipped to deal with it. "Doctor... if you would... there is a pup in my office or in my quarters, can you retrieve her for me please?" perhaps the presence of an animal would help the young woman.

"I'm allergic!" she sputtered through the sobs which half turned into a laugh at the ridiculousness of the entire situation but again soon gave way once more to the upset.

"We are in sickbay, the doctor is likely to have something on hand to treat the effects," Peter murmured at her. And perhaps it wasn't just for her. His prior dog had helped him through many hardships, had even saved his life as a pup. "She still needs a name, perhaps you can help me?"

"We have our own pup in sickbay. She is holographic so you are not allergic Ensign," Russ informed her. "I do not wish to bring in a real life dog at this time Commander. Computer execute fluffy routine."

Out of nowhere a golden retriever puppy appeared in his arms. It affectionally licked his arm as he stepped forward and handed it to the Ensign.

Jelani flung herself backwards at the appearance of the puppy, all thought of her wound forgotten as the exuberant animal recreation took form.
"You all heard about the experiment on the USS Cerritos right... A dog with glowing eyes, could talk and able to ignore the laws of gravity!"

"This is purely to help you feel at ease. Fluffies eyes do not glow and it is programmed to behave like a normal puppy. You have nothing to fear," Russ said.

"Hmmm" was all the African women offered in response. Instead she pulled herself to the head of the biobed, in a sitting position as far back as possible.

Peter gritted his teeth and shook his head. "Just get my dog doctor, it will do us, or at least me far more good than a creature that is not real."

"It will not do sickbay good Commander to have a real dog running around it," the EMH stated firmly. The holo puppy approached and started licking Jelani affectionately.

"It will do me good," Peter answered stiffly as he moved back to his own bed, "it is important to me that she is brought to me. She can be contained within a forcefield around my bed if needed, but I need her with me." Tundra had been sort of a service dog, pulling him through a very traumatic event, and thus saving his life on multiple occasions. His new pup would now do him the same service, at least that's how it felt to him.

"I will endeavour to clear it with the CMO when she is next here," Russ stated flatly.

"You would deny a patient his service animal?" Peter asked through gritted teeth. "She can be contained within a forcefield, since I am apparently not going anywhere either."

Jelani looked between the Counsellor and the hologram feeling the tension build but also noticing the reactions of the Holographic Doctor... Was that irritation? Was that even possible from a synthetic construct.

"It is not a service animal it is your pet, and real pets have no business being in a sickbay. That is I imagine the reason why the CMO decided to have the holopuppie created, and I repeat I will endeavour to clear it with the CMO. Now please do not ask again Commander," Russ stated.

"It is a pup who will serve as such," Peter countered, once again getting up. "And if she will not be brought here, then I shall be going to her instead." His remaining hand gripped the bed hard as he got up a little faster than planned.

"If you wish to be discharged I will discharge you sir," Russ simply said. "You're healing up fine. I believe the CMO has kept you in as you did not wish to be with your family yet. if you are feeling up to it now feel free."

No, he definitely didn't feel ready for them to see him like this, but he had taken the first step now hadn't he? The Vulcan hesitated, feeling very strongly about having the animal with him. His fingers tightened on the sheets as he took another step, really not feeling able to walk out of sickbay. He felt unbalanced as he took another unsteady step, determined to make it towards the door. "I am leaving," he stated, though he didn't mention where to.

“Oh don't be dramatic Commander. And you can barely walk. Get back in bed, that's an order, ” the holodoctor stated.

Well that was an understatement. Peter closed his eyes for a moment, fingers tightening in the sheets he still held as he stood. "Are you going to get my animal?" he challenged, trying for another unsteady step. Why was he feeling so unbalanced? So weak? He wasn't weak! He clenched his jaws together in stubborn determination, but couldn't get himself to take another step.

“Unless the Chief medical officer signs off on that I'm not introducing a canine which will likely malt and run all over to sick bay. We try to keep things sterile here.”

"It will not run all over. As I already suggested it will stay with me and can be kept with me using a forcefield. She is young and very quiet, and currently, I need her." Peter turned his head a fraction and the move almost caused him to keel over.

“Currently you need to rest. And I would recommend speaking with your wife rather than bringing a pet in here if you are feeling you need emotional support, ” Russ started curtly.

"I am not ready for her to see me like this," Peter answered, equally curt, "why will no-one understand this?" His frustration and fear were audible in his voice as he was no longer able to control it. The feeling of shame was too intense to control.

"Russ, that was a little harsh don't you think... I mean hello!" Jelani waved her own stump in the holograms direction. "And Commander with all due respect and I mean no offence... Stop being a dick!"

Peter turned his head the other way, towards the woman. "What?" he managed, before finally losing his balance. He groped for the sheets in vain, taking the whole bedding down with him. He wrenched his eyes shut, unable to suppress a yelp of shock, and pain as he tried to catch himself with what used to be his non-dominant hand.

END

 

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